~~OM~~

How do partners from different faith traditions reconcile them?

Partners from different faith traditions must share the understanding that their ideals, their love, and their partnership is so much more enduring than religious tradition. Then they both can participate in each other's tradition without feeling like outsiders.

Again, it is a privilege to be able to discriminate between spirituality and religious ceremony. Utilizing that blessed discrimination, both partners can participate in all ceremonies regardless of "tradition" and never feel imposed upon.

How do they (partners from different traditions) raise their children with regards to tradition?

They would raise their children as spiritual beings who respect every tradition. The children could learn about all traditions and live spiritual lives irrespective of specific faith tradition.

When two faith traditions directly contradict each other in a relationship, how do the partners decide what is the "right" path to follow?

This takes us back to our original discussion about common goals. Ramakrishna said it so definitively: As many as there are individuals, so many are the paths to God.

If partners define their goals prior into entering into partnerships, then they already know the "right" path to pursue to their attainment. They have created their own brand of religion: the religion of their partnership.

What is the best course of action when someone you love and are in a relationship with does something violent towards you? My choice was to cut off all communication and get away from this person though it is painful. Why does someone do violence to someone they love? What is the spiritual reason for this? I appreciate your writings.

People lash out in violence because they feel they no other way of being acknowledged. There is no way to justify their violent action, but the reality is that if we could reach out to the person who wants to be heard and cover them with love and understanding, we could probably abate all the violent tendencies before they manifest.

The reason it takes place with people who are beloved is that there is so much attachment to that relationship, so much longing to be received, understood, accepted, and where else could one go to vent their frustrations except in a loving, trusting relationship.

The real joy and challenge is to be able to diffuse violent
explosions before they occur by stopping the conflict from spinning out of control. Just stop and consider our goals. What are we trying to get from the circumstance? And then go ahead and negotiate the outcome to its logical conclusion.

My spouse and I are considering breaking up and I am wanting to approach the issue from as spiritual a perspective as possible. I would like to do whatever is best for everyone and am wondering if God ever wants spiritual aspirants to stay "out in the world" even if they have no sex drive? Would one have to stay in relationship to just to fulfill karma even if they want to know God?

First you must ask yourselves what is the object of your partnership, what is your common goal? When you know where you are trying to go, it becomes a lot more easy to understand how you are going to get there, and with whom you want to travel. Sex need not be a distraction from spirituality. But there is much more to your relationship than sex. Quite possibly in these circumstances it might be good to spend some time in solitude and make a plan for the next steps in your life.

Spiritual life means to give more than we get. How do we translate this so that we do not allow ourselves to be exploited in the name of giving. Can you please share your thoughts Swamiji?

To be sadhus we must be efficient. Efficiency demands that we budget our time, resources, etc. To be a spiritual giver means to give the best that we can as is appropriate according to time, place, circumstance, etc.

How can you build a life partnership with someone who tends to have an understanding that there is 'one' way to God, who doesn't hold Sri Ramakrishna's wisdom that there are as many paths to God as there are individuals?

The first question we must ask is Why we would want to struggle with a dogmatic approach to life? Are we talking about a relationship of pure love and total acceptance which seeks to support each other mutually and reciprocally in achieving our common interests? Or are we thinking more in terms of an overwhelming physical attraction, which has given rise to infatuation.

A dogmatic approach to life will most probably manifest not only in regards to religion, but also in terms of having one's own way even in relatively insignificant decisions. That does not portend to a mutual and reciprocal give and take and sharing relationship. First, I would look towards common values and common goals before seeking any commitments for a longer or permanent relationship.

Is it possible to build an 'inclusive' spirit of how to know God with someone who has little belief or interest in understanding other ways?

Probably not. We can only teach people who are inspired to learn. There must be a recognition of some kind of lack or paucity for people to want to change. Until they do not want to change, it is impossible to believe that they would become interested in other ways of looking at life.

How might you navigate goal-setting discussions in this regard? Can you actually build a successful relationship with someone who tends to not hold valid or wish to honor the sacred in your own spiritual wisdom and path?

I believe that if someone is not interested in honoring the sacred in your life, it cannot become a successful relationship. I cannot see any commonality in your goals or life processes. What is there to negotiate?

What if 'dogmatic' is just one of the ways in another person - much as hard-headedness is in mine? And what if I also see a heart for mutual and reciprocal give and take and sharing? If I sit in pure love and total acceptance, does not this make all of this infinitely okay?

Again, what do we want to do together, what is our aspiration? What could we do together to make a real contribution to creation, to make this world a better place because of our having been here, working together?

Can we do that if one of us is dogmatic? How can we pursue our objective together unless our relationship is mutual and reciprocal?

If both of your hearts were actually aspiring towards pure love, acceptance and mutual support, there would never be an occasion to depict a partner as dogmatic. It may be very romantic to adore your partner as the fulfillment of all your dreams, but it will be sufficiently difficult to negotiate future incompatibilities if you do not at least show a desire to compromise from the beginning.

I see people around me that are very selfish and those who give so much that they are drained. Can you please advise us on how to keep the right balance?

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